I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
