I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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