i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Watching her eat just hurts me
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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