Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
