I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
