I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
