btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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