I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
