When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
