FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
