I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
