No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
