I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
