Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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