So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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