After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
