What a fucking waste of an outfit
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
