so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
