Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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