so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
