Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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