I must be too annoying 4 u.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
