we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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