I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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