forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
