I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
