he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
