I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
