Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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