I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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