if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
