worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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