She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
As shirtless as possible
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
