I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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