i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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