i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
