we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
