I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
