can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
