thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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