There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
