Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
