On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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