doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
