Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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