This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
