I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
