I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My butt remains clenched, sir.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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