We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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