Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
