Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
