I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
